why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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