Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
