I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
