You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
