But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You pole danced in your parka.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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