It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have aggressive nipples.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
