I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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