i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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