I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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