What a fucking waste of an outfit
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
