We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
