I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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