just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
