sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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