Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
