my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
