It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
