But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
