babies were throwing up all over the place
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
