Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
