Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
