HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
