i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
