we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
