I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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