I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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