upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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