I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
no you cant smoke seaweed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
