Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
