I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How's work?
Spinning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
