My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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