you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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