I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
