i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
