One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
