Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
