fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
