I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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