If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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