Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
