She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
