What did we do last night that was yellow?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
