he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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