all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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