Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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