I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
