if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
