He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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