I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
