Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
