it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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