We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
