Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize