I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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