Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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