just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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