My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
