We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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