her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
