walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
